On the 22nd of July 2020 the last Qantas 747 departed Australian skies on a journey to its grave. for the last time. It was a sad day for Australian aviation and one which brought back many happy memories for me. One of the more bizarre memories was a drunken joyride while waiting for a flight at the Qantas Jet Base in Sydney – more on that later.
My first experience was way back in 1973 on our first, of many, overseas trips from Sydney to London. We were going to live in England for just over 12 months on a Australian Navy posting so our Navy fellas could learn all about the new Sea King Helicopters being purchased by our Government.
I was 11 years old at the time and recall it was an excessively long flight, particularly for an 11 year old hyperactive brat such as I was. My poor parents! I’m now 57 years old and have apologised many hundreds of times over the years for the hell I must have put them through. From memory the flight went Sydney – Singapore – Kuala Lumpur – Bahrain – Rome – London. Dad told me the stops were for refuelling and restocking of food onboard but I have another theory – smoking was allowed during flights way back then and all the stops were for two reasons, 1) Let some fresh air in, and 2) Empty all the ashtrays. Smoking is no-longer allowed therefore less stops are required during international flights. Simple 11 year old logic!
Stylish Interior
I recall the interior was spacious & luxurious, certainly when compared to flying today. Attitudes towards flying were very different in the early 70’s and mum & dad made certain my brother and I were dressed up with our hair combed and clothes freshly pressed. The entire family, in fact all those onboard looked like they were going to a wedding.
The seats were deep, soft, extremely comfortable and covered in cloth rather than leather or vinyl as they are now. Leg room was more than ample too. I had the window seat and when I needed to get up and walk around I could get past my parents without them having to get up. Now that I think about it, economy class had more leg room than todays business class.
I recall the crew and how stunning they looked in their excessively short skirts, long legs and wearing perfectly applied makeup. They were all incredibly good at their jobs and did everything they could to make certain we enjoyed our flight as much as possible. Constantly bringing snacks & games to play in order to keep children quiet so adults could enjoy the free flowing alcohol. To be honest I think the adults enjoyed the flight more than we did. Perhaps some snacks were laced with Valium or a similar sedative.
Meals were also top notch. I can’t remember what we ate but I do remember we had real knives, forks & spoons. Drinks were served in real glass and plates & bowls were proper crockery. Good stuff all round.
Visiting the Flight Deck
Between Bahrain & Rome one of the Hostesses (Flight Attendants now) asked if I’d like to visit the Flight Deck, I almost wet myself with excitement. Not only did I get to visit the Captain but I was able to see what they were hiding upstairs.
Upstairs had been a mystery to me. Dad had told me earlier there was a swimming pool up there and because children can trust what their parents tell them, I believed him – the lying bastard!
Climbing the spiral staircase was like ascending to heaven for me. Arriving at the top I was greeted by an even more spacious & expansive cabin – but no swimming pool. That bastard had lied to me! It was plush with only a handful of people having a quiet drink. In hindsight my arrival may have annoyed them a bit. Having me around was the best form of contraception known to man.
Inside the Flight Deck I met the Captain, First Officer & Engineer who were all awesome. Incredibly friendly and happy to answer all my stupid questions. The Captain pointed out the front at a small light coming towards us in the dark and said “that’s another 747 heading to Australia and because we are doing 500 mph and so is he, we will pass each other at 1,000 miles per hour or more”. I watched him fly past, and below us, like a bullet – for an 11 year old it was brilliant and ore inspiring.
Despite long hours in the air, I enjoyed my flight and it set a high standard for all future flights. On returning to Australia we flew in another 747 and a few years later returned to England on yet another one. This time I was 15 years old and more able to appreciate the short skirts & great legs on the hostesses. Oh the good old days of air travel.
After the seventies I flew in 747’s a dozen more times and always loved it. Hong Kong, USA, Hawaii, Europe & more. From memory a 747 used to fly the Canberra – Perth route around 1 PM daily, a trip I did on a regular basis. Sadly as profitability has become more & more important airlines began cramming more people inside. Smaller seats, less leg room and narrow ilses have ensured the entire experience is less pleasurable and chore you just want to end.
My Drunken 747 Tour
Back in the early nineties I was fortunate enough to fly in and out of the Qantas Jet Base in Sydney & Melbourne many times. A mate and I had some work to do in Sydney so we flew from Canberra early in the morning. Having completed our work around 2 PM we decided that because our flight home wasn’t due to leave until 7 PM we would go to the pub. We had a few beers, played some pool, drank a few scotches and played some more pool until about 5 PM. Figuring we were probably drunk enough we decided we’d call a cab to take us to the Jet Base. For those not in the know, the Jet Base isn’t for peasant travellers. Generally you were someone important and the aircraft departing the Jet Base were privately owned business jets & alike. It was just a bit better than flying out of a peasants terminal. No offence to the peasants intended! We were waiting for a Falcon 900, which was running about 45 minutes late, and we needed to do something to amuse ourselves.
We went outside for some fresh air and spotted the Qantas maintenance hanger about 200 metres away with a 747 parked inside. In my drunken state I said to drunken John “let’s go take a look” to which he said “shit yeah, let’s go”. So there we were, two drunks staggering around the airfield heading for a Jumbo Jet. When we got there we found a guy with a paint roller touching up some paintwork underneath. I blurted out the words “Hey mate, whose in charge around here?” and he replied “That would be the hanger foreman sir, he’s upstairs!”
“Thanks heaps” I said before staggering towards the stairs where we met the Foreman as he was coming down to the hanger floor. I burped out the words “Hey buddy, we are from the Jet Base and our plane is late. We wanna checkout your Jumbo” and he said “sure, help yourself”.
We had the entire jet to ourselves! No escort, no nothing because this was pre 9-11 and Australians are pretty good people. We staggered up the stairs into the first cabin area and started walking the isles before climbing the stairs toward the the Flight Deck. We sat down in the large comfortable seats and drunkenly made aeroplane noises whilst playing with the controls. We climbed up through the escape hatch above, which was open when we got there, and had a look around the plane from on top of the hump. That is when you truly appreciate how large these planes are and how high off the ground we were. They are a staggeringly good bit of kit.
Over the past 57 years I’ve flown in just about everything from the old, from Gliders to two seater buzz boxes, an old Dakota, Boeing 727 up to the 787 Dream Liner. Sure, the late model stuff is modern & fancy looking but it’s not a 747. Boeing, Airbus, Cessna, Dassault, Bombardier, Embraer and Gulfstream I have had the pleasure of flying in all of them – even a few helicopters.
It is sad to see the last Qantas 747 destined to sit in the desert and to be stripped for spare parts.